The Cost of the Wandering Eye of the Tiger
Disclaimer: I have no idea if the Tiger Woods affair rumors and allegations are true. I happen to think they are true, and I have an opinion. You can have one too. Here's mine...
I’ll be honest. I’m not shocked that “Tiger” turned “Cheetah.” I’m surprised that he was so damn stupid.
It’s a well-known fact that wealthy athletes commonly cheat on their wives. Let’s add the fact that Tiger is THE most recognizable (and first billionaire) athlete and … well … let’s just say that most men couldn’t handle that leve
l of temptation.
I wonder how many suspicious eyebrows were raised at Elin Nordegren when Tiger married the one-time model/former nanny. I’m pretty sure that you could have audibly heard the “gold digger” and “prenup” whispers as she walked down the aisle. When I heard that Elin went psycho-wife with a golf club onTiger’s SUV over an alleged affair, I was secretly thrilled. If she was a bona fide gold digger, she would quickly have turned the other cheek when the rumors surfaced, and she certainly wouldn’t have jeopardized any endorsement deals with a scandal. Of course, her silence could have also been interpreted as a wife that believed in the sanctity of marriage and chose to gracefully handle her husband’s affair privately. But if you love your husband — I mean REALLY love your husband — then the idea of him flying skanky women to his golf tournaments around the world and sleeping with them would test the class and grace of any woman.
So I cheered for Elin’s love and passion for her marriage, and just as I was ready to print my “Team Elin” T-shirt, she let me down. Her passionately-in-love broken heart seemed to have a fast cure … Tiger’s money. Elin Nordegren has reportedly already received a $5 million payout. Her $20 million prenup agreement may have been shortened from 10 to seven years, and may have had as much as a whopping $55 million added to it. In order to qualify for the prenup, she must be the “dutiful wife” and show up with Woods to social events. In addition, it’s been rumored that she is prevented from ever telling her story. How romantic. I guess my financial advice is directed at Tiger this week, since wives, mistresses, and affairs seem to be all about money:
1. Pay your mistress off before Us Weekly does. Seriously, how much can sexual favors and silence from reality show contestants and cocktail waitresses run nowadays? God knows they have to cost a lot less than Elin’s forgiveness.
2. Current technology is far too advanced to hide affairs. Please don’t provide evidence (texts, voicemails, pictures, etc.) to your mistresses that can actually be sold. Get a pager for you … and for her.
In closing, I’m not mad at Elin. That’s a whole lot of money. I am just a little disappointed and sad that her heart could be purchased at all.
How much would your husband have to pay you for an affair? Is there a price that would cure your broken heart?